“Turn it down,” please she asked. “I’m sorry dear, I don’t know what you mean?” her mother replied. “Just make it stop!” she pleaded.
The noise was defeaning. It was enough to make her mind split open. She had never experienced anything like this before. Something so painful. Why was this happening now?
Before today, before this horrid week began, Kaleigh excelled in everything. She had a passion for life and all it had to offer. She was athletic and played as many sports as she could, mainly excelling in soccer and track. She loved running, jogging, going to the gym, and anything else athletic.
She excelled in school as well as socially. She was the type of girl you would want to be in high school. Not to popular, just the right “Jock/Smart.” She flew just under the radar leaving her not vulnerable to the pressures of being in the “It,” group. As it was called.
It was her graduating year. What could be more exciting then that? She was beautiful and athletic, and admired by many. She had an amazing family and friends. Especially her twin sister who played all the same sports as her and excelled in academics as well. They did everything together well, almost everything.
Kaleigh also had another side to her. She liked to be very social on her time off of school and sports. She never said no to a good party and or a social outing. She loved meeting new people and loved that people fell for her looks and athletics.
She didn’t know herself,how beautiful and talented she really was. All she knew was people liked her for some season. She didn’t quite understand why this was. But she strived for it. She needed it. And in turn she worked harder at everything to achieve this attention.
The year was coming to and end quickly and there was lots to get done. Finals were coming up and soccer provincials for school as well. She also had all-star soccer practices 3 or 4 times a week as well as games on the weekend. She lived for soccer. It was her passion. So as you can tell, things were starting to pick up.
Math was Kaleigh’s least favourite subject in school as it was her hardest. She hated her teacher. She felt as though her teacher was trying to make her hate math. She was the worst teacher Kaleigh had ever had. It was her downfall, she had to spend numerous extra hours on math tutoring and help which she wasn’t used to as she had excelled in every other subject fairly easily. So every lunch you would either find Kaleigh running on the field or in the math tutoring center working on homework and studying for her final. She would go after school before soccer practice just to get a little more help. This was not going to defeat her. She was going to Ace this exam. She had to. She only had a 73 in that class. ( Her lowest grade ever!) And it was eating at her.
This is when her first anxiety attack came. “What was this feeling?” She thought one day. “Why am I so nervous?” “Why can’t I sleep?”
Kaleigh couldn’t understand why she cried every night and had trouble sleeping. She couldn’t stop worrying about her math exam. She couldn’t stop the feeling of failure fast approaching. Why?
In turn, she began to run for at least 45 minutes every day after school to try and get rid of these feelings. She knew in the past if she was nervous about something, she would run. This always helped clear her head. But not this time.
This feelings and anxiety’s would not stop. Why now? Everything was fine? She was about to graduate high school. Something she had looked forward to for years. She was about to pursue her goals: To play University soccer and get an education in tourism. Her dreams were coming true.
She was in the best shape of her life. She had worked hard all year to make sure of that. Anytime she wasn’t studying for her finals she was either at the gym, running, or playing soccer. Her passion was fitness and health. Almost to the point she was borderline obsessed with it. She had a certain standard she held for herself. That she held for no one else other herself. But it pushed her to try harder. To Run faster. To work harder. She needed to be the fittest, skinniest, hardiest working. It drove her to strive for excellence in all things. This standard was not normal for any 17 year old girl. It was something a professional athlete might attain. But, she felt highly about this. Why did she need this so badly? Why was this what made her feel good about herself?
To be Continued, ( Chapter 2 coming- hopefully) hehehe 🙂
Until Next Time,