Now, I have only been doing little bits of research on this subject in the past few weeks but of course I have an opinion. And remember this is only my opinion. I am no doctor or anything like that. I just like to find new ways to make myself happy as you know I have been sick a long time and am willing to try anything now. Especially when I am told I don’t need to go see a new doctor, or take a new drug, or do anther therapy course or anything of those routine “trips” many of us mental illness patients carve into our daily routines. Now is that really necessary?
I would have to say differently now that I have read and watched many of John Gray, PhD from California I believe? Please correct this if I am wrong. I have never found someone who can explain this illness is such plain easy to understand ways. He is simply amazing with his words his talking. Now he is someone who gets it. He gets what is happening. He has a passion and wants to know as much as he can about this.
From the little I have read and watched. I gather he has had many circumstances in his life that have made him become and expert on this. And though they are very sad he has over came so many obstacles and is now here to help all of us. He is here to teach us that a better, healthier, happier, easier, cheaper way. A way to deal with our mental illness in a non harmful way. Solutions that could potentially cure us of these “things.” These horrible things we are now told to be afraid or. Told to hide them from everyone because it is “crazy” to be bipolar to. It is not socially acceptable to be like that. You are considered ‘untrustworthy’ if you have a mental illness. Now why is that? Why do people just assume because you have a mental illness that you are crazy? And that someone should no trust you at a job or a party or whatever the scenario is. Are we not just like everyone else? Are we not just humans trying to survive in a “fast paced world.’ A world where anyone can be thrown under the bus if they don’t watch out. A world where people could care less about other people. A world where people are made to believe whatever the media tells us. Okay so I did go off on a little rant there, But I do feel strongly about this healthy living part and helping keep my mental illness under control. So here is what I’ve learned so far:
I have been listening to John Gray PhD’s talks on Lithium Orotate, Aloe Vera, Acid Reflux, Digestion, and any other ones I can find and have time to listen to. I love them. And I know many of you will too when you google or you tube John Gray. His website is: marsvenus.com. You will know him as he is the author of “Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus.” Picture below:
Now I have just recently started to stop taking all prescription drugs. I have slowly “weened” myself off for the last 5 months. It has been a long process as I was on very high doses of a lot of things. A lot of toxic, harmful, drugs that were affecting me in the worst possible way. Drugs that would make anyone and everyone feel the way they made me feel. Like a “zombie!” And it dawned on me!!
I need a better solution. These drugs I have been told I need for the last 8 years are not working with my body. These toxic levels of antipsychotics and antidepressants are destroying my beautiful mind. My ability to express me feelings and thoughts. My ability to learn and write and feel. My abilty to live my life the way I want to. To pursue my goals and dreams. Because yes it is possible as a mental illness patient to also have dreams and goals. To also aspire to be something more then a “guinea pig” for a doctor to try a concoction of drugs or until they get it right.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I know doctors want to be able to help us but they just don’t know enough about mental illness and the fact that everyone’s mental illness varies so much, it makes it that much harder to diagnosis and fix. I know doctors don’t know any better at this point but, it still hurts and it is still draining to see 15 doctors in 8 years and be told basically the same thing every time. And to try the newest, greatest, “Antidepressant.” They are like candy on a pharmaceutical truck. There is so many out there, how could you not find one that works for your brain? And then to be told the only way you can or will get better is to stay on these high levels of harmful drugs. These drugs that cause so many side effects. Who can really handle them?
Well there are the select few that these do help or so they make them selves believe they are helping until, one day they inevitably crash again and are put on something else. Or put on a different dose or adding a new drug to there already daunting pile. How could this not make a person with a severe mental illness more depressed?
So I ask myself: Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life. Be a “Zombie” and the answer is CLEARLY no! I want more. I want to be healthy and happy once again. I want a healthy diet. I want to be aware. I want to Read. Love. Learn. Write. I want to be ME! I want to be the BEST me there is. And I know I am in there. even though at times I do feel apart from my brain. I know she lives on and breaths that healthy, happy air. I know I am going to get better. And I know this because of John Grays talks and how much he has taught me in only a short period of time. I know I can do this the healthy way. I know I am strong enough. I know how strong my mind is. I know this is possible.
I want more out of this life. I want to get back all those years I have lost to this mental illness. I want to make up for all those times I couldn’t speak up. I want to be heard. I want to be listened to and most of all I want all the extra NOISE to stop. I want to control my mind. I want to be in control of my mind and body. And so my new journey begins. I will not be QUIET. I will not be TOLD. I will Learn. I will Read. I will Listen and most importantly I will SURVIVE.
Please see my new blog/ attempt at a short story called: Turn it off: ” The Noise, it is Defeaning.” Chapters.1 and 2 complete. I hope there is more to come.
Until Next Time,