There was no stopping the upcoming few days for Kaleigh. She was beginning to feel more and more anxious about all her upcoming projects and exams. She had a lot of partners she was working with but no time to meet with them as she worked almost everyday after school. She was doing all she could to get these projects done. But it seemed like a never ending amount of work.
Plus she still wanted to run and work out and all that good stuff. She would not give up the one thing that always gave her solace. That always made her feel good about herself. Her way to escape all her other problems. She needed to run at least 45 minutes every day. She still had that passion to her, she hadn’t lost it all.
However, this week was just drowning her. She needed help, she needed to feel better. She could not and would not go on like this.
Her body was starting to break down, piece by piece. So she went to the doctor to find out what and why this was happening again. And of course she got the same, ‘Seasonal Effective Disorder,’ or depression.
She got a note to drop a few classes but, still try and continue working and doing 3 instead for 6.
That was Kaleigh’s first attempt to improve her unavoidable nightmares and fears of failing.
Failing herself, failing her partners, failing her family. She had this feeling of never “good enough.”
She was used to never quitting.
After about another week she felt a little better however, more exams came and she could not put that feeling of failure and not completing her other classes aside and it eventually consumed her to the point she had to drop out totally.
She still worked as she felt like if she quit that she wouldn’t be a complete ‘Loser.’ And she would never forgive herself.
She finished projects and handed them in to her partners but was not graded. Because she couldn’t not finish something. It just would never sit well with her.
So as the next few weeks went by she wrapped up all her ties with University the best she could.
She gave all her remaining assignments to her partners to present as she couldn’t be at the school. She didn’t feel good about any of this but, it seemed like her only option. She could NOT, not do anything. She had to help a little bit.
She was going to do what she was told.
She was a puppet once again
And so the winter and all its sadness and depression came. And Kaleigh sat, listened, watched, read, was “QUIET” once again.
Until the noise came back. Until she was able to :breath again. Until her beautiful mind threatened to explode and break free once again.
And the winter semester at school started. And Kaleigh enrolled again…
Until Next Time,